its 2.57am at the moment.

2009-11-13T03:52:00.000-08:00

I'm meant to be in bed, sleeping at the moment, but can't because someone is throwing a party just a few houses away from mine, and some lady is screaming like crazy. I think she IS crazy XD

Logging into this account and blogging is like wiping off the dust that has gathered on a notebook has been under your bed for a long time..you know what I mean?!

Those who has seen me recently would notice that I've got black rings around my eyes...that's because I've been staying up late and studying for my exams. And no don't get me wrong..I would not call that "hardcore studying"...it's just that I procrastinate during the day (although I did study for a bit at the library) and don't start studying until like 9pm? LOL. not good. DON'T learn from me guys.

On Monday, I had my biology exam. The exam itself wasn't too bad. It was a hot day, hence I thought it would be wise to sit nearby the air conditioner. But but but it was so frigging noisy...PLUS it was worse than a fan! DD=

The exams that I had for the rest of the week was pretty damn hard for me..I guess that's what you get for not studying much.

thats all for now!

Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them

2009-08-15T19:38:00.000-07:00

Heya people! *hugs*

Seriously I NEED to make an effort when it comes to blogging...I just realised that I haven't blogged for like 2 weeks =.=

Anyways, here is a quick update of my life.

Saturday - 1st of August- I went to Michelle's birthday party at Jells Park. Had heaps of fun. Tons of pictures were taken...it'd take too long to upload them, plus I have limited time on the internet today so check out Joey's blog if you want to view them!

Sunday - 2nd of August - Went to Monash Open day with Yezi and Alan. Then they decided to "trash" my house. =OO Jks..they stayed for dinner. And we annoyed the heck out of random people on msn by saying random stuff to them and sending nudges XD

Saturday - 8th of August - Went to Partyworld karaoke in Melbourne Central for Calvin's early birthday celebration. Sang and enjoyed myself =] Had dinner at Sofia's in Camberwell. A BIG thankyou to Calvin and the other birthday boy...Brandon! =DD

Let's waste time, chasing cars.

2009-07-29T14:43:00.000-07:00

Another depressing post, don't get me wrong people, I'm just having my "down times" at the moment, I am not actually going to do this:

Close my eyes

Take steps towards a busy road

Stop in the middle.

See where fate takes me

If I survive,

I will be brave

I will keep living

If I don't,

I die.

Can't expect life to be perfect at the moment, with all that's going on...but for my friends' sake, as well as my own, I will be brave and keep smiling =]

Good Food, Good life;

2009-07-28T20:25:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow readers!

I haven't blog for quite a while (Yes I'm feeling bad which is why I'm blogging now)

Guess what...from now on, I'm going to have Crepes for breakfast/lunch from IchiPan Crepes every Monday! All thanks to Calvin =]

This Monday, he bought me Tiramisu Deluxe, I've gotta tell you, it was mouth-watering!

If you want to grab yourself a crepe from "IchiPan Crepes"

Go to: Shop 148 Knox Place, Melbourne Central, 211 LaTrobe OR Box Hill - Station Street/Carrington Road.

A few months ago, Nathan and I baked cookies n' cream cupcakes together, they were very nice ^^

So, to make the blog longer, I'm sharing with you the "secret" recipe (not so secret since you can find it in 500 Cupcakes by Fergal Connolly)

Cookies n' Cream Cupcakes

Mix crushed cookies into the batter to give a crisp crunch to these cupcakes

For the cupcakes

225g of unsalted butter, softened

225g of caster sugar

225g of self-raising flour

1 tsp of baking powder

1tsp of vanilla essence

10 crushed cream-filled chocolate cookies

For the icing

375g of icing sugar, sieved

225g of unsalted butter, softened

Pinch of salt

10 chopped cream-filled chocolate cookies

Preheat the oven to 175C. Place 18 foil or paper baking case in muffin tins. Combine all the cupcakes ingredients, except the cookies, in a large bowl and beat with an electric whisk until smooth and pale, about 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in the cookies.

Spoon the batter into the cases. Bake for 20 minutes. Remove tins from the oven and cool for 5 minutes. Then remove the cupcakes and cool on a wire rack.

To make the icing, beat the icing sugar, butter and salt using an electric whisk. Spread the icing onto the cooled coupcakes and sprinkle the chopped cookies on top.

Store without icing in an airtight container for up to 3 days, or freeze for up to 3 months.

Makes 1 and a half dozen

Ta-da-aa!

Please don't drool on your keyboard LOL =]

She writes to escape from reality

2009-07-15T18:13:00.000-07:00

I want to blog today but I don't know what I should write.

This is a story I wrote for English in Year 9 and I received $300 for it in some writing competition (alright I should stop BRAGGING now haha) Enjoy ;) ;)

Intro.

You do not need to know my name.

My name is not important.

He is the one you should know about.

Adam is his name.

He is diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder.

He lives in “his own world”.

He does not like noise.

He does not communicate or interact with people much.

He talks to himself.

He repeats words.

He has one-to-one therapies with Dr McPherson three times a week since he was 4.

And he is now 12.

He attends social skills training twice a week.

However these do not seem to do any good.

But I am not giving up. Not on him.

There is something about him that you should know before you judge him.

Physically, he is almost a perfect child. He has cupid lips and a shy half-smile, skin the colour of a ripe peach. He is lovely beyond imagination.

He likes art. He is good at drawing, gifted in music. He excels in measuring and counting. Memory games are his favourite. And he always wins.

He is interested in stars and galaxies and marine animals, especially dolphins.

One.

Every evening, I would find him lying on his stomach in his bedroom, drawing. Tonight he is doing something different; he is staring at the piece of paper he was holding for the whole day, he refused to show me what it is. I became annoyed and I slammed his bedroom door and ran off and cried my eyes out.

Next day.

This morning when we were sitting quietly, eating pancakes for breakfast, I noticed a crumpled piece of paper in Adam’s pocket. I gathered that was what he was holding yesterday.

As carefully as I could, I unfolded it, to my surprise it was a permission form. An excursion to the Adelaide Dolphin Sanctuary.

Is it safe to let him go? Who is going to take care of him? What if he gets into trouble? What if he gets teased? What if he gets lost in the crowd? What if…?

Oh God, there is just too much that I have to think about.

The day after.

Today I rang Mr Schiller, the teacher who is in charge of the excursion, and explained to him my concerns. He said he understood that assistance is required for Adam, therefore I am welcome to go with them if I wish to.

I will go along with Adam. He needs me.

Hopefully the trip will do some good for him.

7 days until the excursion.

In the past few days, Adam has been drawing pictures of dolphins, lots of them.

Pictures of dolphins leaping, chasing fish, swimming freely…

There was one that caught my eyes. A picture of three dolphins. A cub with its parents. A family, something he does not have. He was abandoned by his parents outside a church when he was only about a week old. Although I took care of him all his life, I always feel that there is a wall between us. I know he feels the same. Maybe that’s why he never shows affection towards me.

4 days until the excursion.

Today, I joined Adam’s therapy session with Dr. McPherson to see how he was progressing. He did not do particularly well. I was a bit a disappointed. Maybe I expected too much from him.

I wish that taking care of him was only an occupation, and that I could quit the job anytime, whenever I want.

1 day until the excursion.

They held a meeting about the excursion today, to confirm who is going, and the plans for the trip. I volunteered to make lunch for the kids (and supervising Adam). Tomorrow will be a great day, I hope.

The excursion.

Waking up at 4 o’clock in the morning to make lunch for the kids. By 8 o’clock I was already exhausted. Adam came to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and poured milk straight to the floor. And what upset me the most was that he did not seem to notice my existence.

In the car on the way to school to meet the group, Adam was very quiet. He counted cars that passed us every time we waited for the traffic light to turn green. By the time we arrived school, we were very late. All because of the traffic jam. Ugh.

We were the last ones to get into the bus hired for the excursion. The group sang, they giggled, they laughed, and they ate on the way to the Adelaide Dolphin Sanctuary. But Adam was wandering in his own world; fiddling with his fingers restlessly.

Finally there we were at the entrance of the dolphin’s sanctuary. The kids hopped off the bus excitedly; Adam, however did not seem to have noticed that we had arrived. Maybe he HAD noticed, but didn’t want to get off? About half an hour later, I somehow managed to get him out of the bus.

We were all listening attentively and quietly as one of the staff members talked to us about dolphins, so was Adam.

Then it was time to have close contacts with the dolphins. The kids were lined up in a queue waiting for their turn. Adam was the last one in the line. I could tell that Adam could hardly contain the excitement. He stomped the ground as hard as he could. Out of the corner of my eye I saw other people watching us. I stared them back. Gradually they turned away as I tried to calm him down. Finally he got his turn.

The dolphin rested its beak on Adam’s left arm. Adam didn’t push it away; in fact, he patted it with his right hand. This was the first time I saw him show affection to anything or anyone.

I was glad, but at the same time, I felt hurt as it seemed like the dolphin meant more to him than me.

5 days after the excursion.

Today during the therapy session with Dr McPherson, I told him about how Adam responded when the dolphin put its beak on his arm. Dr. McPherson said it was a good sign.

1 week after the excursion.

Today as I was ironing my clothes, Adam appeared from the back soundlessly. Shyly, he handed me a picture he drew, a mother dolphin swimming with her cub under the deep sea.

I wrapped my arms around him and warm tears flew down from my eyes, and trickled down my face. In the past, I had tried to hug him, but he always rejected me. But this time he didn’t.

Life is too short to go around in circles, hence they should stop making us run laps in school XD

2009-07-12T03:16:00.000-07:00

*points at my title* Yup..that's right.

Wave at my blog, woah it's been so long since I last blogged online..I used to have a Xanga, but got bored of it after a while (thus deleted it)...blogging here feels like re-uniting with a long lost friend who was once dear to me...okay I better change the topic before I get carried away.

I don't know why I'm here, blogging in the middle of the night

I guess I have too much on my mind

Before I created this blog, I had an idea of what to write

But now my mind is blank and I'm staring at the screen, hoping that my thoughts would magically find themselves places in here.

It's said that one will learn to CHERISH, when he/she LOSES something then REGRETS it.

Sorry, once again, I got a bit sidetreked...

Okay, life isn't exactly great at the moment...

Two days ago a good friend got me Kleenex tissues (which I really appreciated since they are like the BEST tissues you can find) and lent a shoulder but still I couldn't cry.

Going to places where they remind me of you

Remembering the days I walked to our primary school early in the morning to meet up with you, lie next to each other on the side of the oval, count stars and watch sunrise together

Trying hard to forget though knowing it's impossible to

Busying my life with other things yet it comes back to haunt me every night

Seeping alcohol, killing brain-cells, wondering if this is the way to go, if I want to erase memories of you

Knowing that we are no longer together, I still yearn for surprises; hoping that you'd show up at my door and sweep me off my feet

Telling you that I don't love you anymore, trying to convince myself this is how I feel

Repeating the sentence in my head whenever I think of you

It never crossed my mind that we would end up like this

A month ago we were pretty happy

I wish we could turn back in time

and fix the things that wasn't right.

It's funny how things have changed

It was two and a half years ago

We were both very, very young then;

We broke up for the first time,

You were crying, I got annoyed hence I walked away,

You followed me;

This time,

a similiar mistake, maybe a worse one

made for the same reason, and for the same person

I thought you would still be that little boy,

crying and following me

hoping I'd somehow forgive you

~~SURPRISE SURPRISE~~

it turned out to be me who had to wait

for you to decide whether you still wanted to be with me.

A friend once told me that a man who wants you to wait will never cherish you, this is now finally sinking in.

I'm feeling sleepy, gonna go to bed pretty soon. Will edit when I am less stoned, bye stalkers =]

xoxo